Interpersonal skills are the behaviors and tactics a person uses to interact with others effectively. In a workplace context, these skills encompass how an individual communicates, builds relationships, resolves conflicts, collaborates with team members, and navigates social situations. According to the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), strong interpersonal skills are consistently ranked among the top qualities employers seek, regardless of industry or position.

The importance of interpersonal skills cannot be overstated in today's collaborative work environments. Whether managing a team, working cross-functionally, or interacting with clients, an employee's ability to connect with others can significantly impact their performance and career trajectory. These skills manifest in various dimensions, including active listening, empathy, conflict resolution, persuasion, diplomacy, emotional intelligence, and cultural sensitivity.

When interviewing candidates, behavioral questions focused on past experiences provide the most reliable indicator of future performance in this area. By asking candidates to describe specific situations where they demonstrated interpersonal skills, you gain insight into not just what they did, but how they approached human interactions and what results they achieved. The best candidates will provide concrete examples that showcase their self-awareness, adaptability in different social contexts, and ability to build productive relationships even in challenging circumstances.

Interview Questions

Tell me about a time when you had to work closely with someone whose personality or work style was very different from yours.

Areas to Cover:

• The nature of the differences between the candidate and their colleague
• Specific challenges these differences created
• Steps taken to understand the other person's perspective
• Adaptations made to improve the working relationship
• Results of their efforts to bridge differences
• Lessons learned about working with diverse personalities

Follow-Up Questions:

• What specific strategies did you use to adapt to this person's style?
• How did you manage any frustrations that arose from these differences?
• What did you learn about yourself through this experience?
• How has this experience influenced how you approach new working relationships?

Describe a situation where you needed to persuade someone who initially disagreed with your idea or proposal.

Areas to Cover:

• The context of the disagreement
• How the candidate prepared for the conversation
• Techniques used to understand the other person's perspective
• Specific approaches used to influence and persuade
• How they responded to resistance or objections
• The ultimate outcome and any compromises made
• What the candidate would do differently next time

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you prepare for this persuasive conversation?
• What specifically did you learn about the other person's concerns or objections?
• How did you tailor your message to address their specific concerns?
• What would you do differently if faced with a similar situation in the future?

Tell me about a time when you had to deliver difficult feedback to someone. How did you approach it?

Areas to Cover:

• The context and nature of the feedback
• How the candidate prepared for the conversation
• The approach used to deliver the feedback constructively
• How they created psychological safety during the conversation
• The recipient's reaction and how they managed it
• The outcome of the feedback conversation
• Any follow-up actions taken

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you prepare before delivering this feedback?
• What specific techniques did you use to make the feedback constructive?
• How did you respond to the person's initial reaction?
• What would you do differently the next time you need to deliver difficult feedback?

Describe a conflict you faced at work and how you handled it.

Areas to Cover:

• The nature and context of the conflict
• The candidate's initial reaction to the conflict
• Steps taken to understand all perspectives involved
• Approach to finding common ground or resolution
• Communication techniques used during the conflict
• The outcome and impact on working relationships
• Lessons learned about conflict resolution

Follow-Up Questions:

• What was most challenging about this conflict situation?
• How did you manage your own emotions during this conflict?
• What techniques did you use to ensure all parties felt heard?
• How did this experience shape how you handle conflicts now?

Tell me about a situation where you successfully built rapport with someone who was initially difficult to connect with.

Areas to Cover:

• The initial barriers to connection
• Steps taken to understand the other person
• Specific techniques used to build trust and rapport
• Patience and persistence demonstrated
• How the relationship evolved over time
• The ultimate outcome of the improved relationship
• Insights gained about relationship building

Follow-Up Questions:

• What signs indicated this person would be difficult to connect with?
• What did you discover was important to this person?
• How did you adapt your communication style to better connect?
• What did you learn about building relationships from this experience?

Give me an example of a time when you had to explain a complex concept or information to someone who was unfamiliar with the topic.

Areas to Cover:

• The complex topic and the audience's background
• How the candidate assessed the listener's existing knowledge
• Techniques used to simplify the information
• How they checked for understanding
• Adjustments made based on feedback
• The outcome of the communication
• Learning points about effective knowledge transfer

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you prepare for this explanation?
• What specific techniques did you use to make the concept more understandable?
• How did you know whether the person understood your explanation?
• What would you do differently next time when explaining a complex topic?

Describe a situation where you had to collaborate with multiple stakeholders with competing priorities to achieve a common goal.

Areas to Cover:

• The context and the different stakeholders involved
• The nature of the competing priorities
• How the candidate identified and acknowledged each perspective
• Techniques used to find common ground
• How they facilitated agreement
• The outcome of the collaboration
• Lessons learned about managing multiple stakeholders

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you identify each stakeholder's key priorities and concerns?
• What specific techniques did you use to build consensus?
• How did you handle resistance or conflict during this process?
• What would you do differently if faced with a similar situation?

Tell me about a time when you needed to motivate a team member who was struggling or disengaged.

Areas to Cover:

• The signs that indicated the person was struggling
• How the candidate approached the situation
• Techniques used to understand the root causes
• Support or resources provided
• How they motivated or inspired the team member
• The outcome of their intervention
• Insights gained about motivating others

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you first notice this team member was disengaged?
• What questions did you ask to understand their perspective?
• What specific actions did you take to help motivate them?
• How did you follow up to ensure the improvement continued?

Describe a situation where you had to adapt your communication style to effectively reach a particular audience.

Areas to Cover:

• The audience and communication context
• How the candidate assessed the audience's needs
• Specific adaptations made to their usual style
• Techniques used to engage this specific audience
• Evidence of effectiveness
• Challenges encountered during the adaptation
• Learning points about flexible communication

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you determine what adaptations would be effective with this audience?
• What specific changes did you make to your usual communication approach?
• How did you know your adapted approach was working?
• What did you learn about communication flexibility from this experience?

Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a disagreement between others.

Areas to Cover:

• The nature of the disagreement and parties involved
• How the candidate became involved as a mediator
• Techniques used to understand both perspectives
• Approach to facilitating a constructive conversation
• How they remained neutral while being helpful
• The resolution outcome
• Insights about effective mediation

Follow-Up Questions:

• Why did you decide to get involved in this disagreement?
• What techniques did you use to ensure both parties felt heard?
• How did you help them find common ground?
• What did this experience teach you about resolving conflicts between others?

Describe a situation where you needed to build relationships across different departments or teams to accomplish a goal.

Areas to Cover:

• The cross-functional goal or project
• Initial challenges in working across boundaries
• Steps taken to build relationships with other teams
• How the candidate created trust across groups
• Communication techniques used to bridge differences
• The outcome of the cross-functional collaboration
• Lessons learned about organizational networking

Follow-Up Questions:

• What initial barriers existed between the different departments?
• What specific actions did you take to build trust with the other teams?
• How did you handle any territorial issues that arose?
• What would you do differently next time you need to lead a cross-functional initiative?

Tell me about a time when you needed to adjust your behavior or approach based on feedback from others.

Areas to Cover:

• The feedback received and its context
• The candidate's initial reaction to the feedback
• How they processed and reflected on the input
• Specific changes made based on the feedback
• Challenges faced while implementing changes
• The impact of these adjustments
• Insights about receiving feedback effectively

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you initially respond to this feedback?
• What steps did you take to understand the feedback more deeply?
• What was most challenging about implementing this change?
• How did you know your adjustments were effective?

Describe a situation where you successfully navigated a sensitive or political situation at work.

Areas to Cover:

• The sensitive situation and key stakeholders
• How the candidate assessed the political dynamics
• Their approach to maintaining integrity while being tactful
• Specific communication strategies used
• How they built alliances or support
• The outcome of their diplomatic efforts
• Insights gained about organizational dynamics

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you identify the political aspects of this situation?
• What specific techniques did you use to remain diplomatic?
• How did you balance directness with sensitivity?
• What did this experience teach you about navigating workplace politics?

Tell me about a time when you had to say "no" to a colleague, manager, or client while maintaining a positive relationship.

Areas to Cover:

• The context of the request and relationship
• How the candidate evaluated the request
• Their approach to declining respectfully
• Alternative solutions offered, if any
• The reaction they received
• How they preserved the relationship
• Lessons learned about setting boundaries

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you prepare for this conversation?
• What specific language or approach did you use to decline respectfully?
• How did you handle any negative reactions?
• What would you do differently the next time you need to decline a request?

Describe a situation where you had to gain buy-in from multiple people for a new process or idea.

Areas to Cover:

• The new idea or process being proposed
• The stakeholders who needed to be convinced
• How the candidate tailored their approach for different stakeholders
• Specific techniques used to build support
• How they addressed concerns or resistance
• The ultimate outcome of their influence efforts
• Insights about effective influence strategies

Follow-Up Questions:

• How did you identify who the key stakeholders were?
• How did you adapt your message for different audiences?
• What was the most effective technique you used to gain support?
• How did you handle the most significant objection you faced?

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes behavioral questions about interpersonal skills more effective than hypothetical questions?

Behavioral questions based on past experiences provide concrete evidence of how a candidate has actually handled interpersonal situations rather than how they think they might respond. Past behavior is the best predictor of future performance. When candidates describe real situations, you can assess not only what they did but how they approached relationships, what they learned, and how they've grown in their interpersonal effectiveness.

How can I tell if a candidate is being authentic in their responses versus giving rehearsed "perfect" answers?

Listen for specific details, emotions, challenges, and learning moments in their stories. Authentic responses typically include obstacles faced, mistakes made, and lessons learned—not just positive outcomes. Use follow-up questions to probe deeper when responses seem rehearsed. Ask for details about their thought process, the challenges they faced, or how the experience changed them. Genuine responses will maintain consistency when you ask for these additional specifics.

Should I evaluate interpersonal skills differently for technical roles versus leadership positions?

While the fundamental aspects of interpersonal skills matter for all roles, the emphasis should shift based on job requirements. For technical roles, focus on collaboration, clear communication of complex information, and teamwork. For leadership positions, place greater emphasis on influence, conflict resolution, coaching abilities, stakeholder management, and creating inclusive environments. However, even the most technical roles today require meaningful collaboration, so interpersonal skills should never be discounted.

How many interpersonal skills questions should I include in an interview?

Rather than trying to cover numerous questions superficially, focus on 2-4 well-chosen questions with thoughtful follow-ups. This allows you to explore experiences in depth and observe how candidates think about interpersonal dynamics. Select questions most relevant to your specific role and organizational needs, and use follow-up questions to ensure you're getting a comprehensive view of the candidate's interpersonal capabilities.

How can I assess interpersonal skills for candidates with limited work experience?

For early career candidates, expand the scope of acceptable examples to include school projects, volunteer work, community involvement, sports teams, or other relevant life experiences. The skills demonstrated in these contexts can be transferable to workplace situations. Focus your assessment on their self-awareness, willingness to learn and adapt, and basic understanding of effective interpersonal dynamics rather than expecting polished professional examples.

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